Oh how we chuckled last night. Meg was lying peacefully next to me on the sofa, when suddenly she farted loudly, gave me a horrified look and went to lie on the floor instead. Disgusting mummy! How could you do such a thing? Um…
Hilarity ensued as a few minutes later, she did it again, still unwilling to believe that the sound could be coming from her. She ran away from the offensive noise, and, as it followed her, she ran faster, giving the impression that she was somehow jet-propelled.
We put her to bed after her normal night-time toilet trip, and thought nothing more of it.
Patrick had a really restless night owing to having been taken off the rugby pitch after a few minutes when a large man hit the side of his (Patrick’s) shin with his (large man’s) shoulder. Early, he announced that he was going to take himself to hospital, but that I should stay and have a lie in. He would let Meg out to pee and put her back in her cage until I got up.
Just settling back to snooze, I heard “Oh God! No!! Oh my God!!!!”
My heart sank. I leapt out of bed and came down to that breakfast table scene in Trainspotting. Meg had been unwell in the night and slept in it. In a rush of joy to be let out of the stink that her bed had become, she charged through the house, wagging and shaking with all her might. It looked like the shit had literally hit the fan.
I took the job of hosing her down outside, while Patrick started on the footprints on the cream carpet. I then took her for a walk to burn off some energy. I took the things that just couldn’t be saved to the dump while he started on the walls. The curtains are bagged up to be dry-cleaned and the washing machine has been going all morning.
All the while, Meg gave us her usual “what on earth are you up to? You humans do some odd things!” look. We haven’t been to the hospital yet, church has gone out the window and lunch for his brother-in-law’s birthday just wasn’t going to happen!
This one definitely goes on the “stuff we’ve dealt with and the baby can’t put us through” list. I hope…