I read an interesting blog comment over on Any Other Wedding yesterday. Little Wife to Little Mama shared her story about a friendship coming to an end as she and another girl found that their interests just weren’t compatible any more. Her friend was keen to go out drinking, but unwilling to compromise and have dinner or just hang out.
I’ve been in the same position, but for opposite reasons. My best friend from school stopped wanting to have big nights out, but also gradually phased me out while I tried to arrange lower-key gatherings that might be more suitable to her. We didn’t speak for four years. Our lives have come back into sync in the past few years – it’s still a little tentative, but we’re getting there.
I often think that friendships are far more difficult than relationships. With relationships, when you have problems, you make a conscious decision to either end things or try to work at it. With friendships, when people grow apart, all that’s left is one embarrassed person trying to keep the lines of communication open.
I read a comment from the ditcher’s perspective recently, and was horrified to see her say how pathetic she thought her friend was as she tried to keep the friendship going, when she just wanted her to go away. It was so sad to think that someone could consciously treat someone they were supposed to care about that way.
I’m not suggesting that every random acquaintance should be formalised, but we all know the type of friend to whom we owe more than a “sorry – I’m busy”.